39 weeks...I will be giving birth to a big boy

Well...I have 6 days til my due date! I went to the doctor on Wednesday morning for my weekly checkups. She asked me to get on the scale and I did. I looked at the number and almost fell off of the scale. First off...I hate those old timey scales. The tick, tick ticking of that big black thing along the numbers causes me anxiety. The big one that goes from 100 to 150 to 200 is the clunk, clunk, clunk....that is rough too. So I digress... So, I turn to the nurse and say, "Um, I gained 5 pounds in 6 days". She says, "whoa, yes you did". She then proceeds to look at my ankles and feet and says that it has to be water weight. Actually, she asked if i have been eating anymore then usual. I honestly don't think I have. Then we talked about how I cant wear certain necklaces because they choke me now (I have a bodybuilder neck). I've given up wearing my watch b/c it's a bit too tight. Finally, my cat stood on my thigh with his little front two paws yesterday for about 2 minutes. He walked away and there were kitty paw prints in my thighs. LOL. I guess I am a bit swollen.
Okay..onto the other news. So then the doctor checks me. She looks at my belly and says, "You will be having a healthy sized baby." I think she may have said whoa as well. She feels my stomach and states tha the is about 8 lbs right now. Hmm... She then does the internal and says, "Nothing". She said that my cervix is still soft but there is no dilation. They will need to schedule me for an induction just in case I don't go by 41 weeks. Poop. It is scheduled for August 12th in the evening. My favorite number is 13 so I wouldn't mind if he were born on the 13th. However, I don't want him to weigh 13 pounds.

I was super duper cranky on Wednesday. In fact, I almost slammed into this stupid woman driving a huge Hum V thing just because. Then I took it down a few notches and realized that I am not even late yet. I have 6 days til my due date and I need to be patient. Easier said then done...but I have to stay focused. My last day of work will be on Wednesday. Hey, that's something I can look forward too.

so thats what my feet look like...

I took a nice 30 minute walk this morning and then came home to put my feet up. I honestly was laying down for the majority of the day (lunchtime through til dinnertime). I took a look at my feet before I made myself some dinner and I almost fainted...they looked somewhat normal. They almost looked like my skin was saggy b/c I had lost weight in them. I guess that's what resting will do for you huh?!?

I'm going to work til my due date but it's getting a bit harder. I keep going back and forth with taking time off, but I don't want to take time off and then go late. I don't want to waste any time that I could use to stay home with him at the end. I'll just take some cat naps at work:)

On a funny note, I stopped at the grocery store on my way home from the walk to get something for lunch and some odd little items. My parents are going grocery shopping for me tomorrow. God bless them... Anyway. I was in my parking spot trying to reveres out. There were a million cars coming and backing up...it was getting annoying. So..I see the guy in the spot across from me leave his parking spot. I decide just to pull through the spot instead of backing out. Of course, I failed to remember that there was a 4 feet concrete/grass median in front of my car. I kind of banged into it, made a loud noise and people looked at me. I started to laugh, cursed and then reversed out of my spot. I mean...at least I didn't get into the wrong car and try to drive it away...

Ohh..I got a blackberry. I'm very cool.

38 weeks...I'm ready whenever you are my son.

Well...I officially have 12 days until my due date. I kept thinking that I would go early...and I guess I still could. I had a doctor's appointment on Thursday morning. My cervix is soft but no dilation. Um...the internal exam was painful and uncomfortable. I wasn't ready for that one:) I only gained a pound...which is surprising because my feet, chest and stomach are out of control. His heartbeat was great as was my blood pressure...so we are healthy on that front.
As you can see I am finished the nursery. I also have my bag packed. I've packed him cute pajamas, a going home outfit and a cute bib. My mom's like...what does he need the bib for? I said...pictures. Oh God...I'm turning him into a diva already. The poor thing...
That wave of energy is still there during the day for the most part, but I am dead on my feet by like 4 pm. Yesterday at work I was pretty busy and I found it hard to make decisions and concentrate. I'm going to work up until my due date as it stands now.... but (not to be a complainer), its getting a little hard. I'm trying to recoup on the weekends for hte upcoming workweek. I'm going to get a pedicure today..just in case he comes early (I want my feet to look good). Then, for the most part, I'm laying down or on my side so my feet don't explode.
Sometimes I think I am really ready. I actually am tempting God and the baby...bring it on!! Other times, I feel totally unprepared. It's not so much physically as it is emotionally. I can get really overwhelmed when I think of the responsibility of caring for and raising a child. I just want to do everything I can to be a good mom to him and protect him. I guess that is motherhood right?!?
Well..Im going to get my pedi now. Ahh...the nail peeps are definitely going to comment on my big feet.
PS...I'm becoming cranky pregnant lady....sorry.

More nursery pics

The Nursery

a little bit of energy

So...since Sunday I've been feeling a bit more energy then I had for the past few weeks. Is it nesting?? I don't know what it is...but I'll take it.

I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday morning. I'll be 38 weeks and I believe I will have an internal. I'm hoping they tell me I am 2 cm dilated....wishful thinking:) However, I guess I could be 2 cm dilated for the next three weeks..haha.

I'm also officially a spaz. I went to a car seat training yesterday which, although informing, gave me alot of new safety information that I am obsessing about. Working in child welfare I have way too much access to information pertaining safety of children. Further, I have way too many stories about accidents that can occur regarding the care of children. I need to put it out of my head before it consumes me. My parents have said it and it's true....our generation has way too much access to information and products that make it hard to just relax and be a parent.

Finally...I'm ready for my son to arrive. I keep thinking about him. I'm dying to hold him and kiss him. I owe him so much. He has kept me so sane and focused during the last 6 months. He has really been my little ray of light. I just can't wait to love him in person.

37 weeks

Yeah!! 3 weeks to go. I can't believe it. I'm huge as are my feet. Plus....I found two stretch marks on my belly. I have been bragging my face off saying that I don't have stretch marks on my belly...blah blah blah. Well...they have just arrived:) Oh well...I mean, the thing is huge..skin can't stretch that much!

I had a little scare on Monday. I had a doctor's appointment which Tim (my former spouse) came to...it's a long story. Anyway...all day my stomach had been hurting me like a belly ache. I didn't think much of it. Then, on the way down to the doctor's office, I noticed that the baby wasn't moving that much in the afternoon. I hadn't drank alot of water so I chalked it up to that. The doctor had asked me how I was feeling and I told her that my lower back and hips had been hurting me the past two days and I was guessing that was from pressure. Then I told her about the belly ache and the decreased movement. She told me to be safe I should have a non stress test. I asked her what that was and why I needed one. I then proceeded to cry my eyes out. She told me that I would have to go to the hospital right away for the test. So...Tim and I went on our merry way to the hospital. For those of you who know the situation, you can only imagine how awkward and ironic this was for me. Tim doesn't come to one doctor's appointment with me for the past 9 months. The first one he comes too....I have to go to the hospital right away for a quasi emergency. Long story short, the baby's heartbeat was strong and he started to move around alot once we were there. I think I didn't drink alot of water that day and honestly I think I was nervous about Tim being at hte doctor's appointment. The doctor told me that I was having mild contractions but they were sporadic. I then asked her when i was going to have the baby and she said (i kid you not), "Let me go to the nurses station, get the crystal ball and we can ask it." I enjoyed her. Tim and I got along well in the room and it was civil. I actually saw some glimpses of the Tim I used to know. A few awkward moments: 1. I had to give my weight to the nurse in front of him. Just want you want to discuss with your husband who left you and was unfaithful. 2. The nurses and doctor kept referring to me as his wife and him as my husband. We went with it. I mean...legally we are still married. 3. Tim could not get over hte large size of my chest. In fact, he talked about it a few times. I thought about stabbing him with a broken off thermometer but reconsidered as I think it is a felony to assault a police officer. Plus...its not very motherly of me. So...all is well that ends well. The baby is fine as am I...that's all I scared about!!

Now...because I am a spaz..I think every little pain I have is the beginning of labor. I did realize something though...I'm ready. Bring it on bitches (not very motherly talk).

Oh...my legs are hard but its not muscle. It's fluid. I'm a water balloon.

family baby pics

I'm putting together a photo collage of my parents, myself and tim for the baby's room. I came across some infant pics of me and I thought I'd share. I look really dumb....my forehead is kind of big and my tongue is always out!! haha. i added a pic of my mom too b/c her hair is ridiculous.

36 weeks pregnant and some big feet

Warning, the picture you are about to see is of some big feet. This is not for the faint of heart. Please take special notice to the double fat roll near the ankle. Also, please notice the indentations on my feet from my flip flops. finally...where hte heck is my ankle bone and did someone replace my toes with wieners? On the positive side, I can make indents in the puffiness that resemble famous people. Maybe I can make some money on Ebay.

I am feeling good still..so that is a positive. Now....the shortness of breath, heartburn, indigestion and painful rib jabbing can be a bit uncomfortable. However, I really cannot complain. I have had a wonderful pregnancy so far:) I'm gonna miss my little friend once he is in the world. I kind of enjoy the constant company.

It was my friend Steph's last day at work on Friday. There had been about 15 pregnant women at my work over the last 3 months. 4 or 5 of them have delivered and the majority of us are due this summer and the early fall. For her last day, we decided to take a picture of our bellies. We attempted to do a bare belly to bare belly. It was a super creepy feeling and freaked us out. Our photog, Danielle, was equally freaked out and basically questioned in what other realm you would take a pic with a friend bare belly to bare belly. haha. so...for blog purposes...we kept our shirts down.

I am about 85% done the nursery...I'll take pics for next week. I am in the midst of packing my hospital bag. I bought some really cute pjs and a robe from target. I am going to be a fashonista mommy. I mean my son will look like a little super model so I need to look good. I'm feeling nervous about 2 things: 1. I am nervous that I will go into labor and deliver the baby by myself at home. I have thoughts about having him in my bed or on the kitchen floor. I recognize this is irrational. 2. I am nervous for our first night home. I sometimes feel as if I am 13 years old and really don't know how to be a mom/take care of a baby. Now, I am not nervous about labor and delivery. In fact, I'm not really that worried about the hospital stuff at all. Ohh.. and I've been having 2 recurring dreams. One dream is that I can't find the baby. It's like I've lost him and I just don't know where he is...can you pray to St. Anthony to find a missing baby? (that isn't really funny i guess..but i meant it be). The second dream is that I am not feeding the baby. I am just not doing it. It is either that I can't or I wont. I need you to know, however, that I do not feel this way in real life. I will absolutely feed my baby. Please don't be alarmed.

Finally...this blog post (as well as others lately) has been erratic and crazy. And now you have a better insight into my mindset:)

another funny pregnant moment

so...I forgot to tell a few people this one. I came home from work yesterday and stopped at the community mailboxes to get my mail. I got my mail, went to my car, sat down and put down my mail on the passenger side. I went to start my car (it's a push start) and realized that I was sitting in the wrong car. I screamed, grabbed my mail and went two cars down to my real car. You may ask...was it a Nissan like your car? No. Was it gray like your car? No. Was it a small car I barely fit behind the steering wheel? Yes.

A pediatrician

I have chosen a pediatrician for the baby. I'm going with my friend Jen's pediatrician, North Willow Grove Pediatrics. I went today with her to check the palce out. The doctor, now I can't remember her name, was very nice and friendly. Jen's daugther Taylor (15 months) did such a great job! She had to get two shots at the end. It was terrible. It may have been one of the worst things I've ever seen. The poor child had to get two shots in her thigh. She cried right away but then calmed down so quickly. I may have cried a bit too. Jen was like, "Are you crying too?" I couldnt help it. Then Jen told me that the babies have to get like 6 shots in the beginning....I don't know if I can do it. PS..Jen didnt cry, she was strong.

35 weeks

I can't believe that tomorrow (7/6) it will be one month until my due date! This time has really flown by so quickly. In the last week I've been able to feel body parts that jut out of my upper right belly area. I think its his foot, heel and leg. At least I hope he is still head down. At my last doctor's appointment they told me he was head down but that he could still move around. He has been having the hiccups alot lately too which is so funny. I kind of feel bad for him at times because I know how much I hate having hte hiccups but there is not much I can do for him..haha. I felt some strong Braxton Hicks the other night around 2 am. They hurt pretty badly (which is the first time they actually caused me pain). I had a mini panic attack thinking I was going into labor, but I only had two and then I fell back asleep. My belly is quite big....but you know, I still feel okay with the appearance of it. My sister took the picture this week and we were hysterical about how small my head looked in comparison with my belly.

The nursery is pretty much finished. I'll take pictures once it is completed. We have to paint the bookcase and I have to get some other stuff organized, but other then that we are good to go. And by "i have to paint the bookcase" I mean my dad has to do most of the painting and I will add accents. My sister came over on Thursday night to help with the tree decal. It looks so cool...it was a little challenging, but turned out great.

I met with my "wusband" (thank you to Mo Loh at work for that word) two weeks ago to discuss his role in the baby's life and our communication. Overall, it went well. I'll leave it at that. We met for 2 hours...it was exhausting and emotional. We are meeting again at the end of this week. I just want my son to have a loving, committed father. Only time will tell....but in the meantime therapy is assisting in that matter.

Last Wednesday I was with two friends that I have known for quite some time. We were reminiscing about college and crazy stories. We talked about how we just had so much fun and did so much so far in our lives. We talked about how all of our crazy "antics" made us the women that we are today (for better and worse haha). It's just amazing how life can throw so many things at you. There is never a dull moment in life. Whether its good or bad...it's never small or insignificant. If I've learned anything the last 6 months it's that life is shaped by your own view of things. The thought of becoming a mother has shifted my view many times and truly has shaped the path of the last 6 months. Just like in college, I believe that all of these crazy "antics" will lead me and my life to a really good place. What a ride its been...

What if it's a girl

So....my friend Maria has said from the beginning that she feels my little baby will be a girl. In fact when I told her that the ultrasound revealed that it was a boy, she asked me to show her a picture of the penis because she couldn't believe it. Today, my mom told me about a story where a friend of a friend thought they were having a boy and she came out a girl. So...(cause Im crazy)...now I'm wondering if Charlie may be a gal. I don't think he is....but you never know. I just thought I'd share my thoughts with all of you.
PS...I'll post another pic tomorrow of belly at 35 weeks.